


quanto ti amo, tu non lo sai

by avioletqueen



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Episode 12 Spoilers, Fluff, M/M, pairs skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avioletqueen/pseuds/avioletqueen
Summary: All Victor wants is to understand Yuuri Katsuki.(And to watch him skate to Stay Close To Me in person.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> title from "notte stellata" by il volo.   
> loose translation: you don't know how much i love you.

Victor leans on the side of the rink at Ice Castle Hasetsu, arms crossed over his chest as he thinks. It doesn’t take a hundred percent of his mind to bark out commands at Yuuri - his precious Yuuri who needs to approach his quads with more speed, his darling Yuuri who needs to _think_ about his arm placement during his combination spins. And the part of his mind that isn’t focused on the training is wandering. 

Well, wandering isn’t exactly the most apt term. He’s ruminating on one thing in particular. One might say he’s a bit fixated upon it. 

So when Yuuri finishes his runthrough of his free skate, Victor slips onto the ice, clapping his hands slowly as he glides over to where Yuuri is panting, hands on his knees. “Very good! Aside from all the little things I pointed out, but what’s a pop here or there in the grand scheme of things?”

Yuuri squints up at him, looking distrustful for some reason. “What do you want?” he asks blandly, reaching his hand out to Victor expectantly. Victor frowns, patting himself over before spotting the water bottle that Yuuri probably wants still standing all the way over on the wall of the rink. 

“I was just thinking that I haven’t seen you skate to Stay Close To Me in _ages_. I don’t think I’ve even given you any pointers on it. Don’t you value my opinion as your coach more than anything else?” Victor drapes himself over Yuuri and allows himself to be dragged along behind him as Yuuri skates over to retrieve said water bottle.

“Ah, yes,” Yuuri deadpans after taking a drink of water. “I forgot that you flew all the way from Russia to Japan to show up in my parents’ onsen because you thought my rendition of Stay Close To Me needed pointers.” 

Victor gapes at him for just a second, then pulls back dramatically. “My little katsudon has gotten so bold,” he says, half-joking and half-serious. He swoops in for a kiss, but as always, Yuuri gets his hand up between them in time for Victor to smash his nose up against Yuuri’s palm. 

“Victor, please.” Victor peers between Yuuri’s spread fingers, grinning gleefully at the flush on Yuuri’s cheeks. “I don’t need Yuko making fun of me any more than she already does.” 

“Right, right.” Victor watches as Yuuri takes another drink from the bottle, leaning back on his skates. “Still, I think I’d like to see you skate my program in person. I have the music with me, you know.” 

Yuuri clicks his tongue, his nose wrinkling slightly as he closes the cap of his bottle. “That’s embarrassing, Victor. And- there’s no point. It’s not as if I’m going to be skating the program at Rostelecom or at the Grand Prix Final. So.” 

“So you won’t do it?” Victor pouts, moving to gaze at Yuuri with his very best pleading look. “Even though I asked so nicely?” 

“You’re a menace, Victor Nikiforov,” Yuuri replies, his voice impressively even as he skates off the rink. Victor whines, but he follows. 

At this point, he doesn’t think he can stop himself from following Yuuri Katsuki, wherever he ends up going.

\---

Victor has never thought of himself as a morning person. In fact, Yakov would probably moan about Victor’s terrible sleeping habits to anyone who would listen to him. These days, however, he finds himself waking up almost with the sun.

Not that the sun has any bearing on when he gets up. It’s just objectively hard to sleep when the person one is clinging to has slipped out of bed. 

Victor rubs his eyes, propping himself up on his elbow, and the soft rustle of fabric over skin is enough to grab Yuuri’s attention. He turns to Victor from where he’s sitting on the window ledge, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Sorry for waking you up,” he says, and Victor wishes for the thousandth time that he was better at all of this. He wants to know what to say to Yuuri, what he should do as a coach, a friend, a lover.

But he’s terrible at this. He has no idea. So he just shakes his head, pulling back the covers and walking over to sit next to Yuuri. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks simply. 

“I don’t know. It… it feels like each day is passing by really quickly.” Yuuri laughs a little, but Victor can tell there isn’t any actual amusement in his tone. “I want to say - slow down! But maybe that’s just me being a coward.” 

“You’ll be ready when the time comes,” Victor starts, but Yuuri shakes his head immediately. 

“It’s not about the competitions. I know… I know I’ll be as ready as I can with my programs. Because you’ve been by my side.” Yuuri turns to look out of the window, and Victor falls in love all over again with this new Yuuri, sleep-mussed and delicate in the grey morning light. “Every day with you seems to go faster and faster.” 

“Hey.” Victor reaches to lace his fingers with Yuuri’s, squeezing a little. “We have time. You know that, right?” 

Yuuri doesn’t say no. But he doesn’t say yes either. He simply squeezes back, then gets to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go back to bed.”

And despite how early it is, Victor doesn’t bother trying to sleep. He just tucks Yuuri in close to his chest, pretends he doesn’t notice how his boyfriend’s eyes are open, and savors the moment, for as long as it can last.

\---

“I want to make a change to my programs.”

It’s a week before the Grand Prix Final and Yuri has an odd look in his eyes - all determination and passion and nervousness and more emotions that Victor’s sure he can’t identify quite yet. But his words are said without any hesitation, so Victor just nods and asks, “what’s the change?”

“For my exhibition program. I’m going to skate to Stay Close To Me.”

Victor freezes. 

And of course, Yuuri takes it in the wrong way. He hesitates, all the fire leaving his eyes, then bows down swiftly like he always does when he panics. “If- if that’s alright with you! I don’t want to steal your program or anything, but I thought it’d be fine if it was just the gala, and--”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Victor finally says when he can figure out how to make words with his mouth again. “I want you to skate Stay Close To Me. I’ve wanted to see you skate it for ages. I’d be honored if you’d skate it for me in person.” 

“Oh.” Yuuri pauses, then straightens up, laughing a little. “In that case, do you want me to skate it for you now?” 

“Right now?” Victor blinks, then claps his hands together, eyes bright. “Yes. Yes! Right now? Do you have the music? I can get the music.”

“I have the music, Victor, calm down.” Yuuri reaches up to flick him gently on the forehead, and god, Victor must be whipped, because he can feel the force of his adoration for Yuuri in the way his cheeks hurt when he smiles. “Just play it for me, okay?” 

Yuuri skates to the middle of the ice, waiting for the music to start, then fluidly shifts into the first pose. And at first, Victor watches, enraptured by the same skating that brought him to Hasetsu all those months ago. 

Nothing has changed. Of course, Yuuri is more in shape, and the technical elements of the skate are landed a bit more cleanly, but to Victor, nothing has changed. He’s still just as beautiful, as breathtaking, as compelling as he was in that first YouTube video. 

But then he stumbles a little on one of the transitions, and before Victor realizes what he’s doing, he’s moving onto the ice, reaching out to catch Yuuri by the hand. Yuuri’s surprised, but he follows Victor’s lead, watching as Victor demonstrates before skating through the transition again. They don’t need words right now, and the music continues to play, the song repeating as they sharpen bits and pieces of the program, slowly making their way through. 

When Yuuri’s finally holding the last pose, Victor shifts closer to him, sliding his palm over the the small of Yuuri’s back. They’re both sweating and breathing heavily, and Victor wants to tell him exactly how wonderful he is, how stirring it is to see him skate his program so cleanly. Hell, in that moment, he wants to give him the world. 

So of course, instead, he says, “have you ever considered pairs skating?” 

Yuuri laughs exasperatedly as he gulps for air, but his arms move to rest on Victor’s shoulders, so he figures he’s not in that much trouble. “What do you mean, pairs skating?”

“Don’t play dumb, my katsudon,” Victor chides, moving to rest his other hand gently on Yuuri’s arm. “You know what I mean. Skating like this.” Victor experimentally slides back, a little thrill rushing through him as Yuuri follows. “And this,” he adds on, trying to twirl Yuuri around. Yuuri breaks away, swatting at him with a grin. 

“Ah, you’re playing it safe, Victor.” To Victor’s surprise, Yuuri reaches for his hands, confidently settling them on his waist. “Have you ever done a lift before?”

“Have you ever been lifted before?” Victor responds, more to avoid admitting that he’s officially out of his depth. 

“No, but I trust you,” Yuuri responds with a cheeky grin, and Victor groans. 

“I love that you trust me, but this might not turn out so well for you,” he warns, and Yuuri laughs again. 

“Come on, we’ll practice. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.” 

And maybe Victor should be training Yuuri for the competition that’s coming up right around the corner, but once they’re all worn out from practicing lifts and spins and random other tricks, Victor can’t help but wish they had more time to spend like this, carefree on the ice.

\---

This is what is right. After all these months, this is what makes sense.

The lights shift on the ice as Victor skates out to meet Yuuri. The gold on his finger glints as he moves into the spotlight, and Victor wonders if the delight he feels every time he’s reminded of that ring will ever go away. 

He doesn’t think so. 

Yuuri smiles, reaching for him, and Victor meets him halfway. They skate on the ice, together, in front of the entire crowd at the Grand Prix Final, because that’s how it should be. This is what it’s been building up to, all this time. That pure moment of realizing that no matter what they’re doing, what matters is that they’re on the ice together in some way. 

There’s no hesitation, no fear, no regret. After all, they have all the time in the world.

\---

“We’re never going to be a pair.”

Victor frowns up at Yuuri, then props himself up on one arm. “Eh, what? You’ve just moved in, Yuuri, it’s not the most convenient time to break up with me.”

“Ugh, no, shut up.” Yuuri leans closer to press a kiss to Victor’s lips. It’s Victor’s favorite way to get shut up, by far. “I mean, we’ll never be a pair in the skating world. I’m not going to shift to pairs skating while I’m still competitive, and neither are you.” 

“Right. Yes.” Victor flops back down to lie on his couch, pulling Yuuri down on top of him. “I don’t quite see where you’re going with this.” 

“Mm.” Yuuri curls his fingers in Victor’s oversized sweater, then says, “we should skate more exhibitions together anyway.”

“Oh, Yuuri.” Victor reaches out to cup Yuuri’s cheek and pull him in for another kiss. “Of course. And we can try even fancier tricks next season.” 

“No death spirals,” Yuuri says immediately, and Victor’s lower lip juts out as he pretends to pout. 

“Don’t you trust me?” he asks plaintively, tugging at a lock of Yuuri’s growing hair, and his fiance rolls his eyes. 

“Definitely not that much.” Yuuri bites softly at his bottom lip, which really just makes Victor want to pout more. 

“Fine, fine. I guess I’ll have to settle for a simple program with the love of my life. It’ll be a hardship, but I’ll bear it very attractively.” Victor can barely get the words out with the way Yuuri is mercilessly pinching his cheeks, but he’s not a quitter. 

“We have years for you to convince me into more ridiculous programs. I’m sure you’ll live for this season.” 

Victor softens, moving to press a sudden kiss to Yuuri’s lips. They linger until they absolutely need to breathe, and even then, they barely move away from each other, foreheads pressed tight together. 

“What was that for?” Yuuri asks a little breathlessly, and Victor laughs. 

“I just like thinking about my future, now that I know you’re in it.” 

“You’re a sap,” Yuuri accuses, but he’s grinning a little too widely now too. “At least five gold medals at World’s, right?” 

“That’s right.” Victor closes his eyes, leaning into another kiss. “We’ve got years.”

**Author's Note:**

> please kudos, comment, and find me at [quadruples](quadruples.tumblr.com) on tumblr for all the emotions about yoi and figure skating!!


End file.
